Bass, rims, and acceleration.

I have a boyfriend named Julian and I like him a lot. He's pretty cool. He likes cars, I like cars.. it's a win-win situation. Hopefully I'll learn a lot.

Hope got a cell phone, finally. I worked at a smoothie bar, hopefully I'll work more often. I applied at Party City.

Etc etc.

Welcome, Ghosts.

I got in trouble for trying to stay home today, which sucks. My mom was mad, but I don't regret asking. I really felt sick. I actually had a great day at school, though.

My dad got a ford escape.It's green. I like it. His engine in the chevy blazer blew up on Friday.
Georgia is flooded. No school tomorrow. Looks like I got my 4 day week anyway.
Markus blew me off again yesterday. I haven't been this angry in a long time. I should have expected it, though. But he's been so perfect lately.. I guess there will always be something more interesting to do other than hang out with me in his eyes. I'm sorry I'm never going to be good enough, but I'm starting to realize how happy I truly was that month without you. The only drama in my life now.. is you. I need someone who does NOT treat me like a last resort. I need someone that can communicate with me. Someone who would rather be with me than anywhere else. Someone who won't even WANT to hang out with other girls (not saying that it really bothers me at all).

I think I like someone else, which is cool, yet horrible. But it's probably nothing serious. "Why do I always fall in love with anyone who shows me the least bit of attention?"



Hopefully going out to breakfast tomorrow morning with him, actually.

I can try to fix anything if you'll let me near

I've been falling behind.


It happened again. Again. Two or three weeks ago. Markus has been trying to get me together. He wants me to report it, but I'm too afraid to do so. We went to a counselors house and I talked to her for about two hours. I got papers for a group at the YWCA and it's on Monday's. I'm too afraid to go, but I know I need to. I might try it once.

I can't wait for fall. I miss wearing sweaters and jeans, jackets and scarves. I'm sitting here drinking a cappuccino and wishing it was November. Please hurry?

I need a job. I need a car. I want money. I want a blanket. I want Markus to hurry up and get here. I've been waiting all day and I'm getting impatient.

I finally found someone willing to be a model for me: Leah Gia. I took a bunch of photos, they're being edited and hopefully I can post them at some point tonight. -crosses fingers-

Homecoming week is this week. I haven't decided if I'm going to go to school Friday. If I do, I'll leave before the pep rally. We'll see.

my heart is in the right place. you have saved me once again. you have given me the safety and security that i have needed. i now have the wings to fly. not yet on my own, but we're getting there.


"you need to stop hiding."

Between the Sheets

I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for him. Or anyone, for that matter. Karma is a bitch, though. I think it's all biting you right in the ass. I feel bad, but I'm laughing hysterically at the same time.
This is all for you. Everything.

"I want to be good for you." "I know."

Disappear

I'm going to disappear for a while. I need to. I hate myself and what I've become. Completely and utterly.



I'm getting therapy so hopefully when I return I'll be a little better. I'll probably still write here, though. If not then I have a livejournal. ANNAchronimuss is the name. Yeah I left out an S on accident/purpose.

I don't think I could possibly hate myself more than I do right now.

The Hunger

I am so starving.

At the Bottom of the Ocean

Do you ever get that sinking feeling? The one where you feel like all of your insides have turned to stone? Every breath you take lets you dispose of the icy cold air that is filling your soul, only to take that air right back inside of you. Your heart seems as if it sinks into your stomach which still manages to feel completely empty. You feel alone. You close your eyes and see nothing. You feel nothing other than the freezing cold loneliness that is your body. Your circulation slows.. enabling your hands and fingers to feel icy. With this feeling, you could be anywhere with anyone and still feel alone. All you can do is wait it out. All you can do it wait. All you can do, is wait.


Well, I'm tired of waiting. Waiting for this feeling to go away. Waiting for you.

Sink Into Me.

In April of 2009, an oak tree fell on my dad's house. It destroyed the roof of the house, my kitchen, my brother's room, a lot of windows, and appliances. Seeing as how the roof was destroyed, rain gave through to water damage. Well, a little group of men has been slowly restoring our house. As of right now our living room and kitchen area is almost finished. We're working really hard to make our 'new' house as amazing as we can possibly get it to be. The contractor said we can basically sell it on the market as a completely new house.
Anyway, the men that have been working on our house have also been stealing things.. like copper wire and light fixtures. Hopefully my dad will say something about it to the contractor. But, nonetheless, the house will probably be ready within the next 3-4 weeks. I'm extremely excited.

Another note.. how am I supposed to be your friend if you're ignoring me?

Being Eaten Alive

My dad and I talked about recent cases of mice eating very young children alive... Ouch. Imagine you're a helpless baby alone in your crib and wake up to mice chewing on your skin. It's so filthy..

I decided to make a blogspot so my friends can see what's going on in my life, or even my head. I'll update more later.

EDIT;
A new degrassi comes on tonight at 8. I'm really excited.
I went school shopping today and got two pairs of jeans (TILT & Bullhead), two dresses, and a t-shirt for until $15. School starts on the 10th, and I'm definitely not excited. I'm just ready for the year to be over. Junior year...treat me well.

Letting him go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But we'll both be happier, I think. I hope.